...And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship onto the shore
And throw away the oars forever
'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
If I have to crawl upon the floor
Or come crashing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

"Can't Fight This Feeling" performed by REO Speedwagon, copyright 1984.

TUESDAY, 15 AUGUST
1605 ZULU
HARM AND MAC'S RESIDENCE
MCLEAN, VIRGINIA

Mac sat on the couch, lost in thought and idly doodling in a notebook while conversation flowed around her.  She couldn't get her mind off the awkwardness the previous night when she and Harm had gone to bed, only for Harm to start feeling guilty the minute he had to look at her healing wound.  She'd had such high hopes for her release from the hospital and though they had eventually gotten past the moment, the damage had been done and she couldn't shake from her mind the look in Harm's eyes, the guilt over her injury.  Just as she couldn't shake the guilt in the pit of her own soul for allowing herself to be injured, an injury which had threatened the lives of their babies.

Mac jumped slightly when she felt a hand on her arm, then relaxed when she realized it was just her future mother-in-law.  "I'm sorry, Mom," Mac said weakly.  "What were you saying?"

Trish looked at the young woman she'd come during the past weeks to love as a daughter.  She'd seen the haunted look in Mac's eyes and she was concerned that though the physical wounds of her attack were healing, the emotional ones would continue to cause their pain for a time to come.  It reminded her of the look she'd seen in her son's eyes during the week that Mac had been hospitalized.

"I was just wondering if you are okay, Mac," Trish said lightly.  "You looked like you were off in your own little world there."

Mac looked up from her notebook to see everyone's eyes on her - Trish, Frank, Matt and Sydney.  Come on, pull it together, Marine, she admonished herself as she said aloud, "I'm sorry.  I was just thinking about .... everything."

"Would you like to talk about it?" Sydney asked.

Mac tried to smile, hoping to ease their concern.  She did want to talk, but the one she really needed to talk with wasn't present at the moment.  "I'm fine, really," she insisted.  "I thought we were here to talk about a wedding."

Matt looked at his niece for a long moment, then looked at the others, shaking his head.  They were all equally concerned, but four on one was probably not the best way to approach it.  It might appear, despite their good intentions and concern, that they were ganging up on her, trying to force her to talk about whatever was bothering her.  "We are," Matt agreed.  "Probably the first thing to be decided is when and where you want to get married.  Have you and Harm talked about that at all?"

"We did agree last night that we wanted to get married as soon as we possibly can," Mac revealed.  "After all, before too much longer, I won't be able to fit into a wedding gown.  And I don't want to wait until after the babies are born.  As for where, I don't really have a preference.  I've never really seen a place that jumped out at me, making me think I wanted to have my wedding there."

"What about Harm?" Sydney asked, looking from Mac to Trish and Frank.  "Has he ever said anything about wanting to get married any particular place?"

As Mac shook her head, Frank jumped in, squeezing his wife's hand, "When we took Harm to Annapolis for college, he was fascinated by the fact that Trish and his father had been married at the chapel there.  We haven't been there since Harm graduated, but I do recall it being quite beautiful and there is the family history factor."

"I never thought of that," Mac said thoughtfully, "and the family history aspect would be important to Harm.  If you don't have a problem with it, Mom, I'll discuss the idea with Harm when he gets home."

"Why would I have a problem with it?" Trish asked.  "I have very happy memories of my wedding day in that chapel.  I think it would be perfect for you and Harm."

"Okay," Mac agreed.  "I will mention it to Harm this evening.  If he agrees, then I would love to get married at Annapolis.  But maybe I should call and find out what is the earliest date the chapel is available.  Discussing it with Harm may be moot if it's not available."

Trish picked up the cordless phone from the end table and handed it to Mac. "There's no time like the present," she said.

Mac took the phone and quickly dialed a number from memory.  "Gunny, it's Colonel Mackenzie," she said when the phone was picked up on the other end.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," Gunny replied.  "How are you doing, ma'am?"

"I'm fine, Gunny," Mac answered.  "Could you find me the number for the chapel at the Naval Academy?"

"Sure, just give me a minute, ma'am," Gunny said as he began punching keys on his computer.  After a moment, he found the number.  "It's 410-293-1100, ma'am."

"Thank you, Gunny," Mac said.  "Is Commander Rabb there by chance?"

"No, ma'am," Gunny answered.  "He left the building for lunch."

"Okay," she said, sighing.  "I'll just talk to him later.  Thank you, Gunny."  After his own goodbye, she pressed the flash button and dialed the number for the chapel at Annapolis.

After the third ring, a woman's cheerful voice answered, "Thank you for calling the Naval Academy chapel, this is Lyla.  How may I direct your call?"

"I'm not sure who I need to talk to," Mac said, a hint of nervousness in her voice.  "My fiancé is an Academy graduate and I'd like to find out about the possibility of getting married at the chapel."

"Let me transfer you to Mary, our wedding scheduler," Lyla said.  "She can help you with anything you need."

"Thank you," Mac replied as hold music came over the phone.  Placing her hand over the mouth piece, she told everyone, "I'm being transferred to the wedding scheduler."

After a moment, another woman's voice came over the line, "This is Mary, the chapel wedding scheduler.  I understand you'd like to inquire about holding a wedding here.  Is either the bride or groom an Academy graduate?"

"Yes," Mac answered, "my fiancé graduated in '85."

"Have to ask that," Mary explained.  "We only allow Academy graduates to hold their weddings here.  The names of the groom and bride?"

"Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. and Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie," Mac said.

There was a pause while Mary wrote down the information.  "Colonel, do you have a specific date in mind?  I should warn you that certain times of the year are easier to book than others."

Mac took a deep breath.  She hadn't thought of that.  She mentally crossed her fingers, hoping that early fall was not a busy time of year for the chapel.  "We haven't really discussed a specific date," she said, "just that it be sooner rather than later.  See, I'm expecting twins in February and we 'd like to get married before too much longer."

"I understand completely," Mary said.  "Let me look at the calendar and see if we have any openings coming up.  Um, looks like we have an opening the morning of 30 September.  Although, depending on how big you want this, six weeks may not be enough time to prepare."

"Well, neither of us has much family," Mac considered, "so most of the guests are going to be friends and people we work with.  With most of those people being military, some of our friends might not even be able to make it due to location.  I don't see six weeks being a problem.  Hold on a second, please."  Mac put her hand over the mouthpiece at a gesture from Trish.

"Honey," Trish said, "don't worry about how much time until the wedding.  Since you're still recovering, you're probably not in the best condition to be planning a wedding.  I'm sure it will be no problem getting all your friends to chip in the help plan everything."

"I don't know ...." Mac trailed off.

"Sarah," Matt jumped in, "all your friends came together to get you moved into your home in a day.  I'm sure between everyone, we can all put together a wedding in six weeks."  Trish, Frank and Sydney all nodded their agreement.

Mac nodded in return as she returned to the phone call.  "Sorry about that," she apologized.  "I was just discussing planning with our families.  30 September looks like a good date."

"Good date for what?" Harm asked from the doorway.

"A wedding!" Mac answered, her voice excited, as she waved him over to the couch.  She said into the phone, "Sorry about that again.  My fiancé just walked in.  Let me put you on speaker phone."  She pressed a button on the base of the phone.

"Mary, this is my fiancée, Commander Rabb," Mac said.  "Harm, this is Mary, the wedding scheduler at Annapolis."  Mac knew from the way his face lit up that Annapolis was the right choice for their wedding.  He sat down next to her on the couch and squeezed her hand, a brilliant smile on his face.

"Harm, Mary was just saying that the chapel is available the morning of 30 September," Mac told him.  "Six weeks doesn't give us a lot of time, but everyone seems to want to chip in on the planning."

"30 September sounds perfect," he said softly.

"Okay, Mary, I guess you can put us down for 30 September," Mac said.  "What else do we need to know or do?"

"Most importantly," Mary said, "we insist on a session with one of the chaplains.  Kind of a pre-marital counseling and information session all rolled into one.  Do you have a preference on denomination?"

Harm and Mac looked at each other for a moment before Harm answered, "Probably should keep this non-denominational."

"That's not a problem," Mary said.  "Let me see.  How far are you from Annapolis?"

"We're in DC," Mac answered.  "Distance is not a problem if we have to come to the Academy before the wedding."

"Then I have an opening this Friday at thirteen hundred hours," Mary said.

"I don't know," Harm said to Mac.  "You did just get out of the hospital and you're not supposed to go on long trips for a few weeks."

"I don't think an hour to Annapolis can be considered a long trip," Mac pointed out.  "Anyway, it would be good to do the counseling session before I have to return to work next week, that way only one of us has to ask the Admiral for the afternoon off."

"Still, I would feel better if we talked to Dr. Newman before we agreed to go to Annapolis on Friday," Harm said.

"Why don't I go ahead and schedule the appointment," Mary suggested, "and you can just call and reschedule if necessary."

"That will work," Harm said as Mac nodded her assent.

"Decorating the chapel is not something you need to worry about," Mary said, "other than what colors and types of flowers you want.  We have a group on campus that does the decorating for all weddings at the chapel."

"We'll have to think about the colors," Mac said, smiling at Harm, "but the flowers are easy.  Roses, definitely."  Harm returned the smile.

"You know, Colonel," Mary pointed out, "roses aren't exactly in season the end of September."

"If it's a problem," Mac said firmly, "we can take care of obtaining the flowers and your people can decorate.  But it has to be roses."

"Sorry," Harm said, "it's a 'when and how we met' kind of thing.  Roses are very important to us.  The wedding wouldn't be right without them."

"Understandable," Mary replied.  "As far as the reception goes, there are several places on or off-campus that it can be held at.  If you do make it here on Friday, I can make sure an information packet is put together for you.  If you call and have to reschedule, then I can just mail the information to you."

"That will be fine," Mac said.  "Anything else?"

"Right now, no," Mary answered.  "Let me give you my direct number if you need to call for anything, for instance rescheduling your appointment on Friday."  Mac wrote down the number Mary gave her in the notebook and clicked off the phone after thanking her for her help.  She looked at Harm expectantly.

"Thank you," Harm said, "but are you sure there isn't someplace important to you where you'd like to hold the wedding?  We don't have to have it at the Academy just to please me."

"Well, I think getting everyone to Red Rock Mesa would be a logistical nightmare," Mac said, pretending to ponder the idea, "and I think it would just plain be a nightmare to try and hold the wedding at the Rose Garden where we met.  Hence, Annapolis."

Harm laughed at her logic, "You win.  Annapolis it is."

"What's this about a rose garden?" Sydney asked.  "I haven't heard that story."

"The Admiral didn't tell you?" Mac asked, surprised.  When Sydney shook her head, Mac explained, "I was pulled off a double murder investigation to work this mail holdup as a temporary assignment out of JAG headquarters.  I was ordered to meet with Admiral Chegwidden at this ceremony he was attending at the White House.  The ceremony was Harm receiving his first Distinguished Flying Cross."

"The White House?" Sydney asked.  "You mean you met in *the* Rose Garden?"  At Harm and Mac's nods, she laughed, "The way you met, it sounds like fate that you would get together."

"Only took them four years to realize it," Frank added.

"While everyone else realized it almost from the beginning," Matt continued.  "You know, I asked my niece, not long after I met Harm, 'Where'd you find this sailor, Sarah?'.  After she said 'In a Rose Garden, Uncle Matt,' this look passed between her and Harm.  Seemed obvious to me."

"You should have heard some of Harm's calls to me after they met," Trish revealed.  "All I heard was 'Mac this, Mac that'.  Then, once, I make an innocent little comment about how Mac seemed like a nice girl and you'd think I was suggesting they go pick out china patterns from the look on Harm's face."

"You know," Mac interrupted, "if this is going to turn into a 'let's talk about what idiots Harm and Mac have been for the last four years' kind of discussion, we can leave you to it and find a nice quiet place to have lunch by ourselves."

Everyone laughed.  "Okay, let's leave Harm and Mac alone," Sydney suggested, making a mental note to pump AJ for information later.  "We can save the 'what idiots Harm and Mac have been' stories for the engagement party."

Harm and Mac almost groaned as everyone laughed.  "You know, I'm beginning to think elopement is sounding pretty good," Mac whispered as she leaned against Harm.

"Are you kidding?" he whispered back.  "They'd kill us if we cheated them out of the wedding they've been waiting for all this time."

Part 2